Petratheophobia

Jan 22

Because mash ups are freaking awesome (listen)

Jan 22

afterallmissthisisfrance:

the fact that they took the time to animate a gag reel is amazing

Jan 22
  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Sherlock: You have two cows. You manage to convince people that one cow murdered the other using calculated analysis of the field in which you found the two cows
  • Supernatural: You have two cows, one of them has an aversion to salt. That one is possessed by a demon.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Jan 22
  • me looking at thing: yooooo
  • me looking at price: nooooo
Jan 22

puppyclub:

They are literally a family

Jan 22

quote I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter, and too hot for you.

— (via berryhealthy)
Jan 22

twitches3:

whenyouwishupondisney:

kristoffbjorgman:

why are people shipping elsa with jack frost

we all know who the real icy otp is

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vanilla chocolate swirl 4eva

Omfg

UHM MAYBE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD BUT HE HAS A WIFE WHO IS THE GREATEST GOOD HE IS EVER GONNA GET

Jan 22
pay-money:

All that is gold does not glitter,Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,The crownless again shall be king.
—J.R.R. Tolkien

pay-money:

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

—J.R.R. Tolkien

Jan 22

ev-rybodyhadmatchingtowels:

Tumblr shades the fuck out of Pitbull for Timber

Jan 22

She is only 9 and her selfie game is stronger than mine

Jan 22

“In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress. I eat like a caveman. I’ll be the only actress that doesn’t have anorexia rumors! I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I’m invincible. I don’t want little girls to be like, “Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner!”
-Jennifer Lawrence

In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress. I eat like a caveman. I’ll be the only actress that doesn’t have anorexia rumors! I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I’m invincible. I don’t want little girls to be like, “Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner!

-Jennifer Lawrence

Jan 22

senatorkhaleesi:

in which freema agyeman continues to play characters that break the mold for what people think women should be

in which freema agyeman continues to be a complete inspiration

Jan 22

http://similarlyunique.tumblr.com/post/74154414275/winxhesters-potato-tots →

winxhesters:

potato-tots:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

hugstyles:

why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

My brother…

You win.

Jan 22

danwasonfireonce:

danwasonfireonce:

danwasonfireonce:

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT TWO OF MY “HETEROSEXUAL” GUY BEST FRIENDS WERE FUCKING EACH OTHER AND MY BEST FRIEND CAUGHT THEM IM CHOKING 

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this is the best day ever 

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of course you are

Jan 22

basedona10000caloriediet:

kinzilauren:

maarkhoppus:

caucasianandwhite:

maarkhoppus:

fall out boy, paramore and justin timberlake on the iTunes top 10 charts wow hello 2006 

i wasnt even alive in 2006

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why the fuck is a six year old on tumblr

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